In one of my conversations with Fanny, since now I have a super-annoying guy working with me, we ended up discussing ways to get rid of the guys we don’t like. I remember that the ‘Why men love/marry bitches’ books, actually recommended something like this:
Have you ever noticed that the more you ignore a guy that you don’t like, the closer he gets to you? That you seem unable to shake him off your tail? Well, the next time you want to get rid of a guy you don’t like, start acting “CLINGY” and “CONTROLLY” - like start suggesting (not hinting) to him that he should propose to you in a month and how you want to be proposed, and you guys should get married in two months and where to register for the gifts and buy a house and all kinds of marriage things that freak most guys. You can also start acting jealous whenever he talks to any girl, even the cleaning lady, scold him in front of other people to embarass him. That will shake him off your tail alright.
On the other hand, to the man you like the most (and this includes steady boyfriends or hubbies), you need to play hard to get. You need to talk less to him (don’t nag and tell him all your troubles) become less clingy and less controlly. MUCH MUCH LESS. In fact, you can pretend to ignore him once in a while. Don’t sweat the small stuff (even if the small stuff seems BIG to you). If you want him to do something, start suggesting OTHERWISE. It’ll make him think MORE of you, and that you’re one cool happy cucumber.
I have a friend who wanted her boyfriend to cut back from hanging out with the boys too often. Instead of telling him that he should cut back hanging out with the boys, she actually told him to go and have fun. But in the meantime, she made appointments with her girlfriends to have slumber parties at their house and so on. Sometimes she even made dinner appointments with her ex-boyfriends. This actually worked! And instead of retaliating, her boyfriend actually cut back hanging out with the boys to only once a month (which is acceptable), because he didn’t feel comfortable knowing his girlfriend having such a blast with the girls or ex-boyfriends :)
Reverse psychology may seem too manipulative to some people. But I found out that sometimes, that’s really how the world works :). Sometimes we just can’t be too naive and hope for the best, I guess.
Posted on Saturday, 14 November 2009
